UK Tories want to “Change the Internet to control what is said Online”

Either Theresa May is an energy-drink-guzzling Dorito-smashing basement global network hacker by night, or she’s completely unaware that the internet isn’t owned by Britain (nor is it bound by any geographical boundaries).

But either way, she’s going to “change the internet to control what is said online” .

An article from the has quoted the English Prime Minister as saying “some people say that it is not for government to regulate when it comes to technology and the internet“…”We [Tories] disagree.

Not content to be playing catchup with her Chinese, Russian, North Korean and Iranian government counterparts, a Tory manifesto claims that the plans will allow Britain to become “the global leader in the regulation of the use of personal data and the internet“.

Luckily, the prophets of technology Tim and Eric came up with a technical solution to Teresa May’s problems all the way back in 2008:


Weird Cold Spot in Space could point to first evidence of Parallel Universes

I’d like to be in the universe where my two-year-old son doesn’t currently have diarrhoea, but in this universe, The Guardian reports

“[The] latest piece of evidence that could favour a multiverse comes from the UK’s Royal Astronomical Society. They recently published a study on the so-called ‘cold spot’. This is a particularly cool patch of space seen in the radiation produced by the formation of the Universe more than 13 billion years ago… 

Perhaps the most exciting of these [explanations for the cold spot] is that the Cold Spot was caused by a collision between our universe and another bubble universe. If further, more detailed, analysis … proves this to be the case then the Cold Spot might be taken as the first evidence for the multiverse.”

Unfortunately, according to the Guardian‘s article, if multiple universes can be proven, we’ll probably never be able to work out the ultimate goal of astro physics, “to explain why our universe is the way it is.”

We Might Have Just Come a Step Closer to Solving the Mystery of Life

A popular theory in science is that life got started when a bunch of molecules randomly bumped together in a bubbling pool of water heated by a volcanic vent roughly 3.8 billion years ago. Now Some chemists at Cambridge have come close to explaining how that might have been possible: reports:

“DNA is better known, but many researchers today believe that life on Earth got started with its cousin RNA, because that nucleic acid can act as both a repository of genetic information and a catalyst to speed up biochemical reactions. But those favoring this “RNA world” hypothesis have struggled for decades to explain how the molecule’s four building blocks could have arisen from the simpler compounds present during our planet’s early days. Now, chemists have identified simple reactions that, using the raw materials on early Earth, can synthesize close cousins of all four building blocks. The resemblance isn’t perfect, but it suggests scientists may be closing in on a plausible scenario for how life on Earth began. “

Seven songs written by A.I that suck less than techno

Over the last few years, Computer Scientists have been writing programs designed to create original music, based on a technique known as “machine learning“.

These “machine learning” algorithms vary in their respective methods; some analyse certain attributes like melodies and the lyrical content of a bunch of selected songs then mix them all together to create a new original track; whereas some rely on the mathematical nature of musical theory to create new musical scores.

Anyway, they’re all more intelligent and pleasing to the ear than club bangers.

  1. Daddy’s Car: “written” by “Flow Machine”, which sampled a bunch of Beatles songs to create an original new track.

2. “Christmas”. Probably my favourite of the lot. This was made by “Neural Story” that analysed tunes and lyrics of popular Xmas songs as well as imagery (yep photos) of Xmas. I can’t wait to set up a front-yard Xmas display featuring  decapitated reindeer with this blaring out of a megaphone. Creepy as all fuck.


Continue reading “Seven songs written by A.I that suck less than techno”

The Best Lost Insults that we need to Bring Back! has posted its list of the 12 Insults We Should Bring Back.

“Everyone knows a primo insult or two, even if your personal rules of decorum prohibit their usage. But if you think about it, there aren’t many new insults (or swear words, for that matter). The ones you heard from that guy in middle school are pretty much the same ones you hear now…[so] head back a couple of hundred years. These words/terms might seem rather quaint and out of place now, but back then, they got your attention.”

Amongst my favourites were “Gnashnab” (someone who just complains all the time),”Zounderkite” (a Victorian word meaning “idiot”) and Bedswerver (somebody who sleeps around a lot).

Feel free to post your favourites below:

How the humble wrist-watch put humankind on the path to cyborg slavery

In the mid-1900s, at the dawn of the computer age, the excited commentators of the time described a future utopia where humankind would be freed from the need to work and would struggle to fill up the long days with enough time-eating hobbies.

This obviously has not happened….

Thanks to our technology, thought up by our big rippled brains, humans are quite comfortably the head-honchos of our planet. But unless you’re a member of the top 1% of wealthy blood bags, the majority of us still need to work pretty damn hard at it.

So as we advance as a species how can we be both p’wning our world but with the vast majority of us feeling like medieval serfs? The answer lies in the way we get our big stuff done, the way we allocate our resources, human greed, and unfortunately, which rung of society you cling to.

If you were to take away our technology, humankind couldn’t compare with insect colonies’ amazing efficiency and coordination; thanks to insects’ inbuilt senses that detect tiny hormonal changes and pheromonal ejections, allowing them to perfectly synchronize their work. As a result, insect colonies can build amazing things with minimal resources.

But who needs antennae when we’ve got brains that can invent wrist watches and Gantt charts?

With the human invention of modern time measurement, we enabled our species to plan and build grander and more intricate projects through our vastly improved synchronisation and management of resources. The invention of mechanical clocks, due to their more convenient and reliable time-keeping, effectively enabled us to pack more into every day.

I am no troglodyte – I am hugely appreciative for the advantages that science and technology have provided. I have it to thank for the Enlightenment values that I live by, my longer and healthier life, and the sense of wonder that I feel when looking up at the stars,  knowing that I am staring into our Universe’s past.

But in all its wonder, science and technology has also helped things to turn a bit shit. Inventions and advancements when at inception looked certain to improve the quality of our lives have often become the tools of our captors.

The invention of the town clock tower in the 1500s, followed by the mass production of pocket watches in the early 1900s, were arguably the first steps in humankind’s transition into some kind of cybernetic state of permanent serfdom.

Continue reading “How the humble wrist-watch put humankind on the path to cyborg slavery”

How Synaptic Pruning messes with our future happiness

Like the pirates of olden days, give them a bottle of rum and any Middle Years school teacher will be happy to regale you with the adventures and bat-shit insanity they witness on a daily basis as part of their vocation.

Flipped over tables; the formerly quiet kid who has turned to loud questioning of school/society/teacher’s haircut; the year 8 girl who took the time to carefully cut out the letters in foil to decorate her History folder with the shiny phrase “lick my ass”; the amputee girl who decided to throw her prosthetic leg across the classroom at another student for some reason.*

So those who are are forced to be around adolescents as part of their parenting obligations, or worse, as part of their jobs, often find them themselves in front of an erupting volcano spitting out exploding lava bombs of moronic shit. So we turn to booze, but also science! The latter tells us that the fecal eruption we’re witnessing is most likely attributed to a physical process within their feeble brains called “synaptic pruning” (Lubman, 2007) (Blakemore and Choudhry, 2006).

Continue reading “How Synaptic Pruning messes with our future happiness”