One shocking summer afternoon, only a quarter-moon ago, the piss and vinegar was sucked out of my day’s pep when I found out that my educated, professional colleagues had no idea who Tim Berners-Lee was.
Tim Berners-Lee… Tim Berners f@#king Lee!.. blank looks… my mouth gaping wide open in awe. My chest tight. Buttocks elevated ten-centimetres off my seat by my extended arms, locked elbows, nails clawing the foam underlying my soft padded office seat.
Tim f@#king god-damn Berners shitting pissing Lee!!!! Convulsing. Jittering my seat back and forth.
I’m sorry, but if you’ve ever ordered a sloppy kebab on UberEats, trashed an Air B’n’B, trolled a dolphin lover on a PETA forum or have been laid with the aid of an app, you might want to be at least aware of who this man is. *Sir* Tim Berners Lee! T.B.L if you want to shorten it!
So he’s got a knighthood? that’s great! Whoop Dee F@#king Do! TIM BERNERS LEE INVENTED THE INTERNET AND GAVE IT AWAY FOR FREE! Really? He gave it away for free? AS A GIFT TO MANKIND! For free? YES FOR F@#KING FREE!!!!
I’m aware that anti-intellectualism is alive and strong in our world today and that the meek will never inherit the earth. So I shouldn’t be surprised. But this man’s invention has changed the life of the sports fan, the business person, governments, students, law enforcement, bogans, drug dealers, gamers, home renovators, feminists, human rights activists, chauvinists, doctors, celebrities, politicians, music lovers, bullies, scientists, copyright violators, problem gamblers, Flat Earthers, movie buffs, YouTube stars, publishers, writers, researchers, bleeding hearts, aid agencies, KKK members, the depraved!!! HE GAVE US THE HIVE MIND. And no thanks. Well, not enough thanks.
So if you’ve ever used the Internet to pay a bill, purchase pre-worn underwear, or send some flowers to your mum, you should be paying homage to T.B.L, and many of these other pioneers. Not many women you say? Well we can all ultimately give thanks to Ada Lovelace, the first computer programmer ever! Bet you haven’t heard of her either!!!!
Image of T.B.L is from the Software Sustainability Institute.